Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Musings of a Comic, Vol. 01

Hello, all you happy people. Here are some thoughts I had one day. I often try to put together material I think will work as a stand-up comedy act, and this is some of my train of thought.

December 20, 2008. 1:52 p.m.

One of the things that has always occurred to me that I think has been a little lost by the men of this country is a sense of chivalry. I'm talking about the way men treated women back in the Middle Ages -- not that they were subjects and always served their husbands, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the fact that the husband was the picture, the ideal of nobility to his wife. He was generous to his wife, he did everything for her, he loved her, he required only that she be faithful to him.

Basically, chivalry today amounts to nothing more simple than showing respect to women, which I think a lot of guys don't do anymore. There are a lot of men out there -- husbands, boyfriends, what have you -- that treat the women in their lives like absolute crap. I don't want to be one of those guys. I mean, look at the undershirts so guys wear. We call them "wife-beaters" now. They used to be called A-shirts, and I don't know what that is. I know what a T-shirt is, but when I was younger, wife-beaters were called A-shirts. I don't know why. It doesn't look like an A, it looks more like an H. Hick. Hoosier. I digress.

Men, in general, don't respect women as much as they used to, and I don't know why that is. We see sex all over the place, and women are often viewed as little more than sex objects. And what's more, women propagate this viewpoint because I think that they think that's exactly how men want their women to be, and I don't think that's true.

I think we need to get back to the rules of chivalry. If you're not aware of what they are, I'm gonna give you 3 very basic things to remember. These have been passed down from the Middle Ages that I think should apply across the board to everyone:
Number One. Always be respectful of a woman by never disrespecting her in front of other people. If you have an argument, you wanna fight, you guys wanna call each other names or anything like that, do it in private. Never, ever disrespect a woman in front of your friends, because it's not gonna garner any laughs from her.
Number Two. Always hold the door open for a lady. Whether you're dating her or not, whether you're her husband or not. It's just good manners, it's nice, it's polite to do. Help her out. Number Three. Never, ever wear your iron underwear to bed. Just don't do it. Aside from the chafing factor, it's . . . it's cold. And she doesn't like that. So don't do it.

There Is No Box.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Why the Back Burner?

Why the Back Burner?

Years ago, I had a thought of using this as a name for a band, The Back Burner. Or The Back Burners or something to that effect. The idea wasn't to make a cheesy correlation to the fire and brimtone futures of a life without Christ, much like a lot of metal bands in Christian music did with their names and album titles in the early 1990s.

I was instead thinking of the creativity that goes beyond being able to write a memorable hook that panders to thousands upon thousands of people who have been weaned on candy-eared pop and sanitized rock on the local Top 40 station. I was also thinking of the Christian musicians who opt to stay independent or sign with mainstream labels in order to seek out more exposure from people who will actually appreciate their art for art's sake instead of jumping on the "they're Christians, so they must be good" bandwagon.

I found myself wanting to reach the churched and the unchurched alike, and oddly enough, for the exact same reasons. I wanted people to understand that true art has no label like "Christian" or "secular" attached to it because of its designated purpose. True, you can use any piece of art to symbolize anything, and it can be reinterpreted an infinite number of ways depending on whom you ask, but I don't believe that who you are definitively predicts how your art can be used.

Because of my artistic leanings and interpretations, the kind of art I produce, I feel, is often something that is passed over by most people on first glance or at first listen, but the ones who linger and try to ascertain what I'm attempting to say instead of looking for only what they want to hear are the ones who truly understand the heart of an artist and can appreciate what it might take to put one's soul upon the chopping block. I feel as though what I produce is often relegated to the back burner of artistic expression. On most stoves, the back burners can be used, although most people never think to use them unless the ones up front are already occupied. Otherwise, they seem to be ignored.

In no way do I want this to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as someday I would like all artists to be appreciated for their art and not what label they attach to themselves. Until then, I'll keep stirring the pot, making the sauce, and setting fire to the bananas foster.

There Is No Box.