Skip to main content

Musings of a Comic, Vol. 01

Hello, all you happy people. Here are some thoughts I had one day. I often try to put together material I think will work as a stand-up comedy act, and this is some of my train of thought.





December 20, 2008. 1:52 p.m.

One of the things that has always occurred to me that I think has been a little lost by the men of this country is a sense of chivalry. I'm talking about the way men treated women back in the Middle Ages -- not that they were subjects and always served their husbands, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the fact that the husband was the picture, the ideal of nobility to his wife. He was generous to his wife, he did everything for her, he loved her, he required only that she be faithful to him.

Basically, chivalry today amounts to nothing more simple than showing respect to women, which I think a lot of guys don't do anymore. There are a lot of men out there -- husbands, boyfriends, what have you -- that treat the women in their lives like absolute crap. I don't want to be one of those guys. I mean, look at the undershirts so guys wear. We call them "wife-beaters" now. They used to be called A-shirts, and I don't know what that is. I know what a T-shirt is, but when I was younger, wife-beaters were called A-shirts. I don't know why. It doesn't look like an A, it looks more like an H. Hick. Hoosier. I digress.

Men, in general, don't respect women as much as they used to, and I don't know why that is. We see sex all over the place, and women are often viewed as little more than sex objects. And what's more, women propagate this viewpoint because I think that they think that's exactly how men want their women to be, and I don't think that's true.

I think we need to get back to the rules of chivalry. If you're not aware of what they are, I'm gonna give you 3 very basic things to remember. These have been passed down from the Middle Ages that I think should apply across the board to everyone:
Number One. Always be respectful of a woman by never disrespecting her in front of other people. If you have an argument, you wanna fight, you guys wanna call each other names or anything like that, do it in private. Never, ever disrespect a woman in front of your friends, because it's not gonna garner any laughs from her.
Number Two. Always hold the door open for a lady. Whether you're dating her or not, whether you're her husband or not. It's just good manners, it's nice, it's polite to do. Help her out. Number Three. Never, ever wear your iron underwear to bed. Just don't do it. Aside from the chafing factor, it's . . . it's cold. And she doesn't like that. So don't do it.




There Is No Box.
Zach

Popular posts from this blog

The Top 100 Christian Albums of the 1990s: The Top Ten (plus 1)

So I've learned one thing about writing a blog series: plan better. For instance, don't try to write the last installment the week before Easter when you work at a church full-time. That's just a losing proposition.

Here we are. The pinnacle. The peak. The top of the mountain, the best of the best.
The Top 10 Christian Albums of the 1990s. Forget AC/pop radio, because you're not going to hear mid-30s mommy music here. Unless you were a mid-30s mommy in the '90s and actually listened to this stuff. Then it's totally yours. But these albums, to me, are the most beloved, most artistic, most groundbreaking, most creative, and most important albums from that decade, and they span from the very beginning of the 1990s to the very end.

If you hate spoilers, and you want to revisit the rest of the Top 100 before actually diving into the Top 10, you can find them here:
Honorable Mentions
11-20
21-30
31-40
41-50
51-60
61-70
71-80
81-90
91-100

Now, then . . . here we go.

10. SQUINT - Ste…

The Top 100 Christian Albums of the 1990s: 40-31

When the clock finally strikes midnight on this list, my hope is that those who read this series will be inspired to check out some of the albums listed here, and thus find out more about the goodness of God. Yeah, the music is an example of great, quality musicianship and stellar production, but there are truths about the nature of God inherent in the very music itself. If nothing else, we have an opportunity to catch a glimpse of the Father with our eyes completely shut.

So, here we go. Continuing the count with #40.


40. WORLDS AWAY - Crumbacher-Duke
I saw a print ad for this album in CCM Magazine, and I liked the fashions that Stephen Crumbacher and Christopher Duke were wearing. Back when many Christian bookstores were doing the "Buy 4 Get 1 Free" sticker promotions, I used the stickers I'd saved to get this cassette for free, and I'm glad I did. It would be several years later when I realized who the "Crumbacher" was in the duo, but I was very glad to hav…

The Top 100 Christian Albums of the 1990s: 20-11

Witty and thoughtful introduction. 
Okay, let's get to it.

20. OUR NEWEST ALBUM EVER! - Five Iron Frenzy
Five Iron Frenzy's frantic, humor-laced ska-core blasted its way onto the scene with Upbeats and Beatdowns, their full-length debut. It turned a lot of heads, and created a fanbase stronger than what you would expect to find with most bands. Then, they had to up the ante.

our newest album ever! brings a sharper production to the fold, and the guys (and girl) in FIF had lost none of their intensity or energy. "Handbook for the Sellout" opens up the album with a comedown on haters who find it hard to like a band after they've blown up big, completely with big, meaty hooks and the pointed lyric, "Do you remember where we all came from?" FIF had a knack for cutting right past the BS and lofty spiritual thinking to address concrete, down-to-earth issues from the same Christian perspective, which is why this song and many others in their catalog appealed to th…