Random Thoughts from the Back Burner

Here are some random thoughts from The Back Burner.

I work with a guy who's our pastor's son. He's a brilliantly gifted graphic artist and creates many of the animated video introductions we use for our message series, and he's taken a year off between high school and college to save up some money and work at the church on staff. But he's 19, and he has some habits. One of them is to break wind anywhere he feels like it. They don't usually smell bad, they're just loud.

He once said, "If I could fart money, I'd be rich."
To which I countered, "Not necessarily. Just because it's louder doesn't mean it's worth more."

He looked at me, puzzled, so I continued. "Think about it. If you were to drop a dollar's worth of quarters on a table, they'd make noise. But think of how much more noise a dollar's worth of pennies would make." I then went on to formulate that paper bills make even less noise; henceforth, the louder one's farts, the less hypothitical money they would make. That person's farts would have to be nearly silent in order to make a decent living.

He looked away, pondering this truth. My job was done for the day.


One of the video series I produce and direct at my church is called The Little Timmy Chronicles. My good friend and fellow musician Tim was game to help me shoot a video illustration for one of the messages we were doing a while back, and he did so well with my direction and his own personality coming off of the screen that I decided we would have to keep this going. Once I told him the name of the series, he was like, "Dude, no. Little Timmy?" But the name stuck, and people often ask us when the next one's coming up.

I would love to do an episode where Little Timmy just doesn't get the signs posted all around him. The first one that came to my mind is on a road near the Alton Police Department that says "Caution: Deaf Child Area." I could just picture a camera mounted to the hood of the car, aimed at the side of the car where Timmy would be sticking his head out the window, yelling "HEY, MOVE!!!"


My pastor is a former electrician, so he's often in the media room helping us connect, reconnect, or patch in new equipment in different ways as we increase our productivity. I remember once we all got into a discussion on whether someone said "big S-video cable" or "big-ass video cable". It's stuff like that that reminds me how human my pastor is, and how much I really like working with and for him.


My father is also a retired electrician. When I was twelve, he gave me a small paperback electrician's handbook, in case I ever needed to reference anything. When I was twelve, I was playing Nintendo, discovering metal and alternative music, and developing my skills as a trumpet player. I was also eating way too much. The only thing I could do with electronics was plug in my cassette player. I don't know what he thought I was going do use the book for, unless it was to discover the family joules.

That's okay, you don't have to groan for my benefit. I know it's a horrible, horrible joke. It was when I was twelve, too.


I've got a coupon from QuikTrip that I haven't redeemed yet, good for a free BBQ Chicken Taquito. The expiration date is 4-20. I'm just sayin'.

Anyone remember that old song they used to sing in children's churches called "I've Been Redeemed"? The song went like this:

I've been redeemed
By the blood of the lamb
I've been redeemed
By the blood of the laaaa-eyaa-eyaamb
I've been redeemd by the blood of the lamb
Filled with the holy ghost, I am
All my sins are washed away
I've been redeemed

Well, I made up new lyrics to that not too long ago.

I've been redeemed
For a 20-ounce shake
I've been redeemed
For a 20-ounce shaaa-eyaa-eyaake
I've been redeemed for a 20-ounce shake
Goes great with a burger made out of steak
I'm worth 100th of a cent
I am a coupon


That's all for now. Enjoy.

There Is No Box.