Musings of a Comic, Vol. 3

I use the term "brilliant" too often when I talk about people. I don't understand why I do this when someone obviously has done nothing to achieve brilliance in their life. I don't think you become brilliant in life until you try stuff that does not work and fail, many, many times. And you say to yourself, "Hmm. I should not do the things that do not work. I should do something different and see if it works. And if it does, I should do it again. And if it still works, then I should find ways to improve upon it. Then and only then will I achieve status as a genius."


Not too long ago, i went to my insurance agent's office to drop off a payment. And they have a signboard outside their building, you know, the kind where you can change the message on the board from time to time. And the sign says
which to me, is kind of odd. Because the word "hop" is in quotes on the board, but it's also saying to come in for a quote. "But Gerard, I have a quote already from the sign." But I knew what they meant, so I took them at their word.

I opened the door to the office, entered, and hopped over to the reception desk like a huge bunny. And they were like, "What are you hopping for?" And I'm like, "I'm following your instructions."

When I dropped off the payment, I smelled something that reminded me of winter. You know how certain scents can remind you of certain seasons? Well, this candle that was burning reminded me of what Christmas decorations smell like, you know that cinnamon-evergreen-fruitcake smell? So I mentioned it. "It smells like winter in here."
"It is," said one of the ladies, "it's called Winter Memories. It's my last one, we're getting rid of it, then I'm gonna bring in some candles that smell like spring."

It made me wonder if there are candles that smell like abstracts. I know they have aromatherapy candles with scents that are supposed to bring about a certain frame of mind, but do they have scents that actually smell like a particular frame of mind? Like, what would anxiety smell like? Rotting tuna? The air around a steel mill during a heavy shift?

What about wet money? Greed.

A lake that no one ever swims in because of the smell -- despair.

Three week old cherry pie -- anger.

Chicken McNuggets -- resignation.

Ash mixed with burned barbeque sauce -- gluttony.


That is all for now.

There Is No Box.